And now, A Moment of Silence for the Apostrophe '

I know, I'm a grammar snob. I know that far worse errors are being overlooked in the halls of education. Like, bringing guns to class. And I know we all do things in our private penmanship we aren't proud of (or, "of which we are not proud.") But when bad grammar usage makes it into corporate signage, spread on every sale rack in the Target chain whose ads aim for today's hip clientele and tomorrows tastemakers ... or at least the masses of consumers, then I really have to speak out. And it's always the same crime. The apostrophe.

(The Blogger people came in and removed the photo I posted: A Target sign reading, "22.99 Mossimo TROUSER'S". Wow big brother is watching!)

Thi's really annoy's me. 'since when doe's an anything ending in an S have an apostrophe? I's thi's happening becau'se we're outsourcing our sign's to Ch'i'n'a?

Here's (here is) when to use the punctuation in question.
  • To indicate the contraction of two words.
    here is = here's
    . We will = we'll. You are = you're
  • Or possession:
    Susan's pet peeve
    . The pet peeve that Susan possesses.
    Jesus' blood.
    The blood that belongs to Jesus.
  • DO NOT USE on Plurals. Pants. Trousers. Idiots who make signs
So unless you're Arabic, al'ham d'Allah, leave those doggies alone!

And now a moment of silence to remember why we are here. Forget crime, poverty and Justin Timberlake. We're here to make grammar waymobetta.


  1. My sister was an employee at Target. I saw that problem once a while back. She told me that it has been going on for a very, very, VERY, long time.

    I guess you don't have to have a college degree, be a high school grad, or have your GED to make a sign for Target.

  2. Funny how you got the apostrophe right but left the i of indicate. I thought grammar included spelling?? :)

  3. Gemma caught me! Actually that was a cut and paste problem. But still no excuse! I'll go back and correct it. Thanks, Gemma!

  4. If you are a grammar snob you might want to be careful referring to other languages, especially one as grammar-rich as Arabic.

    While there are contractions in Arabic, they are usually not visible in transliterations into English. Since there are no rules for transliteration anyone might spell things the way you did. However, usually the apostrophe is not used in that way.

    al meaning the is a prefix (not a contraction).
    hamd is praise/thanks.
    (u is for the nominative case of hamd).
    li is a prefix meaning to/for/from/of.
    and (al)lah is (the)God.

    the li and al do contract producing lillah

    All together the phrase goes alhamdu lillah.

    If a person 'contracts' the phrase in everyday speech (never written), it would be hamdillah

    your d+apostrophe looks more like french?