21.10.08

The CHURCHED Winners!

We have a winner! Well we have two winners, but I received two copies of Matthew Paul Turner's Churched. So I have two copies to give away. First place went to Melody, for this horrible Fundamentalist moment:

Probably my most memorable moment (which is now funny, but at the time was terrifying) was when the church decided to do a month focused on the rapture. The culminating event was a four day movie festival when we showed all of the "Thief in the Night" Videos. If you don't know them, they were made in the 1970s and depict life on earth during "the tribulation" for those who were not raptured. They are Christian movies, but they include scenes of torture, nuclear holocaust and a few beheadings; so they aren't your average church film.

I was about 7 years old and was encouraged to watch them all because, "even children should know the truth." Needless to say I was scared out of my mind and would wake up multiple times during the night to make sure the rest of the family hadn't been raptured with out me.

Almost a month after the videos, I woke up and found no one in my house. I started to get nervous so I looked outside; no one out in the streets. I called for my dog, she didn't come. Obviously the rapture had happened and God thought that even my dog was more christian than I was! I ran to the neighbor's house, knocked on the door and when he opened it I said, "I need help! My family has been taken up by the rapture and I'm all alone. I knew you would be here because my my Sunday School Teacher said people who drink and smoke, are heathens who go to hell." As he stood, bewildered, my Dad came around the block, walking the dog. He did not enjoy the conversation he had to have with the next door neighbor.

Second place went to Chris Hyde, who was the very first to respond ... so early that he got my original post in which I asked to email your ideas to my own email address:

Here's how far fundamentalism can go. Do you remember that the singer Carmen came out with an album in the 80's entitled "The Champion". The title song told the story of a boxing match between Jesus and Satan. Now mind you, this was back in the days of breaking records that were "of the devil". Well, even though Carmen is a Christian, I decided I needed to destroy my Carmen album because the song "The Champion" took liberties in the story of Jesus defeating Satan and the Cross and I didn't want to violate Rev 22:18, "...if anyone adds to (the words of the prophecy), God will add to him the plagues which are written in this book." Pretty scary reason to break a Christian album, huh?!?!

Thanks to everyone else for playing. Next, I'm reviewing "Coffeehouse Theology" by Ed Cyzewsky, and I'll be giving that book away as well. Check back soon!

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