Interesting week here in Lake Sinbegone

[I live just outside of Colorado Springs; based on the number of Christian ministries there, it is the evangelical equivalent of Mecca]

Well, I figured it would be a rather quiet week here in Lake Sinbegone.  Summer's here and folks are staycationing, renting Benjamin Button and all.  But bless God, I am always surprised. On Tuesday, Focus on the Family president Jim Daly announced that male employees no longer had to wear business attire, such as neckties, and female employees can now wear those snappy pantsuits like Hil Clin.  According to one report, employees stood and shouted hallelujah! in response to the good news.  Some of them wanted to lift holy hands and turn on the new fog machine, but around here, one thing at time, please.  

However, the most liberating aspect of Tuesday's news was permission for the ladies at Focus to take off their pantyhose.  They were expressly urged to do this once they got home, but then, once they were off, they could leave 'em off.  Apparently the proof for this text was Song of Solomon 7.1 - "How beautiful are your feet in sandals." (NASB)  In some of those newfangled transphrases it reads "Nice toe cleavage, sis." Focus spokeswoman Lisa Anderson said, "...easing up on formal attire also will...encourage tourists to hobnob with Focus employees." 

I must say my rocking chair missed a rock when I heard the word hobnob.  Dear lord in heaven. Sweet Merriam-Webster describes the archaic word thusly: "to drink sociably" - the etymology from the obsolete phrase drink hobnob, to drink alternately to one another.  Now I don't believe Anderson had drink hobnob in mind when she chose that word, but there are slippery prairie dog hills around here, there really are, and I can foresee thousands, maybe even millions, of tourists showing up on the hill this summer expecting free Fat Tire from ladies perched on legs sans hose.  From a distance such as my porch, I'm having visions of the wayward Hebrew children dancing 'round the golden beast on liberated thighs and a nicely toned calf or two. Mercy.  

Focus tour-guide (concerned): Please, folks, don't you want to come in and watch the Dobsonmentary.  It's quite comprehensive.

Tourists (smiling): Nope, we're good.  God bless America and God bless hobnobbin'.


  1. Hi - I moved to CS from Seattle fifteen years ago, so I think I know how you feel, but I'm just kind of sad about the sarcasm. It seems like we have a growing movement among the Christian "community" where it's popular to bash mainstream, old school evangelicals.

    I am not anywhere near "mainstream" myself, but I just wonder where the intense criticism and anger fits in with the scriptures that tell us that they (the world) will know we are Christians by our love, one for another.

    While I do think we need to be guarding our hearts against the legalism that can pull us away from grace, I'm pretty certain that angry, mean-spirited words aren't the most productive or God-honoring way to go...

    Just my opinion.

  2. Kathy,

    So sorry you read anger; I'm really not angry.

    I do wonder sometimes if they might also know we are christians by our ability to laugh at ourselves.

    Still, your words are wise. Thanks.

  3. "Toe cleavage" made me spit coffee at my one year old.

  4. Living north of "mecca" I laughed at this post at so many levels. You touched on everything I tend to get queazy about when it comes to CS and the weird christian sub(?)-culture down there

  5. Excellent! Love it.

    (And John, I read no anger here...I read fun. Good on you.)

  6. Great post, John. Love the PHC reference in the title.

  7. Hi John - I didn't mean to say that I felt your post was angry, I really didn't see that. My concern isn't just with your writing, but a general sense that over-all we who have been damaged or feel strongly about some of the legalism and weirdness the "mainstream evangelicals" commit in the Name of Christ are in danger of swinging too far the other way.

    I guess I feel like even so, they are our siblings (most of them!) in the Body and would we be that harsh in public against our family members?

    Maybe we would, but I'm not sure that does honor God. Maybe (and I really do mean maybe) we are being as harsh and judgmental as we think they are...

    Truly, I don't know. This is just a general uneasiness I'm feeling lately after reading a lot of Christian works leaning toward agreeing with non-believers that we are foolish, old-fashioned, and generally to be laughed at as a group.

    Almost like we "rebel" Christians are trying to be sure that the world knows that we are really on their side. Does that make sense?

    Again, I didn't think you were expressing anger, just making fun. And, in spite of many things Focus has done that I disagree with, they do help a lot of people, and they too are His servants and are accountable to Him ultimately...

    Boy, I do go on, don't I? =-)

  8. Laughing at ourselves isn't a way to align with the world as much as it is a way to apologize to the world for our excesses and abuses.

    Satire can be a form of repentance.