"My husband received a text message from a man saying that he was going to use him as a cover so he could visit another man in a neighboring town. This made me suspicious, so I looked in his wallet and found a visitor's pass to a gay men's health club. Then I found a gay porn DVD and Viagra in his gym bag. On his computer were gay Web sites. My husband had an excuse for everything. He said a man he works out with had given him the DVDs and the pass, and he didn't even know what they were. The Viagra was so he could be 'ready' for me. He didn't know how the gay Web site cookies got on his computer."She wanted to believe her marriage was not a shame, so she believed her husband. Then this happened:
"Last weekend, I came home unexpectedly and found him masturbating to gay porn. He said he wanted to see some porn, and this was the only thing he had because he didn't know where to get anything else."Now, I don't blame the husband for being defensive, for coming up with the first excuse imaginable. But there really is no way out of that situation. If you're masturbating to gay porn, that's empirical evidence you want to have sex with men. Case closed, man.
While the excuses are undoubtedly hilarious, this woman's story is not. Can you imagine realizing the last 30 years of your life were a lie? As Prudence points out, the marriage was not necessarily a sham...the husband may have struggled with homosexual impulses in early years, and probably still loves his wife (though engaging in illicit sex, homosexual or otherwise, behind your wife's back certainly isn't loving behavior).
This made me wonder about the church. Growing up, it seemed the estimates for homosexuality ranged around 10% of the American population (or at least that's what conservatives would argue against). A Gallup poll in 2002 asked Americans their opinion about the percentage of homosexuals in the US, and the number was much higher.
Without getting into the idiocy of polling speculation on others, I'm guessing the second number is high.
Whatever the numbers, there are obviously plenty of churchgoers who cannot be honest about who they are attracted to, and it's difficult to blame them. They face losing their families and church support. Then there's the issue of sexuality as a whole: we all have to control our sexual impulses to some extent.
A solution is easier said than done, but it's clear Christians need to become more comfortable with the issue of homosexuality. This doesn't necessarily mean permitting it and dismissing Bible verses on the subject. But it does mean rethinking how homosexuality is discussed and establishing communication and support.