9.5.13

Burnside Endorses: American Giant Hooded Sweatshirt

Damn, it feels good to wear a sweatshirt.
We had this column years ago called Burnside Endorses, and it was basically just a way for me to talk about products I liked without getting paid money. It had stuff like Nerds candy and linen pants and Viso, a Portland-based drink company that got rid of my favorite flavor and now sucks.

It's not a great column idea, but it was a well I could go back to time and time again for "inspiration". And I'm going back to it now.

Last winter, my friend sent me this Slate article titled "This is the Greatest Hoodie Ever Made" and I don't recall exactly, but I'm pretty sure I got a boner.
I judge my clothing by the following factors, in order:
  1. Comfort. It must fit well and feel like velvet against my soft, milky skin.
  2. Aesthetics. It must have a design and cut that is pleasing to me (and possibly only me).
  3. Durable. I would prefer to have the option of wearing this article of clothing five days a week for at least a decade.
  4. Where it's made. If I can order a better product from halfway around the world, I'll do it, social justice be damned. (Sorry.) All things being equal, though, I prefer to buy local.
American Giant is supposed to be the most comfortable hooded sweatshirt ever made. It was built by a former Apple designer. Theoretically, you should hand this sweatshirt down to your first-born child. They are made in San Francisco, which isn't that far. So as soon as I could convince Mindy we could afford $80 for a hoodie, I placed my order.

THREE MONTHS LATER, I finally have my sweatshirt. Apparently, American Giant's demand blew up, and it was difficult to keep pace. But at last, it is here. I waited for this day with more anticipation than maybe even the return of Jesus.

So what's the verdict?
  1. Comfort. The jury's still out on this one. The sweatshirt fits marvelously around the shoulders and flexed paneling allows my ample midsection room to breathe. The arms feel snug, but not unpleasantly so. I'm really hoping it won't shrink. Right out of the box, the sweatshirt was less comfortable than the one I had been wearing, but it's breaking in nicely, and it hasn't been washed.
  2. Aesthetics. I basically look like one of the American Giant models. Ask anyone. My one complaint is the hood, which is weirdly peaked. It'll keep out the drizzle, though.
  3. Durable. It's built like a cotton battleship. One day I'll pass it on to Lana. I don't care if it smells bad. She'll take my sweatshirt and be thankful if she knows what's good for her.
  4. Where it's made. I think it was made in America, though I guess I don't have firsthand proof.
But what's the verdict in one word? BUY. If you are a man or know a man, and that man likes hooded sweatshirts, and you're willing to pay $80 on gifts, buy this sweatshirt now and then tell him so he can relive the agony of waiting every single day for that box to arrive at his door.

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