Kids Aren't Funny

Kids aren’t funny. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. They’re not at all funny. They don’t understand the concept of humour. They don’t understand comedic timing or sarcasm, and they certainly don’t understand their audience. Kids also never stop talking. This makes for some of the worst comedy on the planet.

One child approached me the other day, saying that she finished the worksheet I gave her (she didn’t). She continued with her nonsense and said the following:

“Knock knock.” (Obviously, as the wiser and more mature person, I had to go along with it.)
“Who’s there?” (So far, so good.)
“Stuffed up my page.” (Is she telling a joke about her music worksheet? Because unless she’s going to talk in an Austrian accent and say something about Bach, it’s not going to be funny.)
“Stuffed up my page, who?” (I gave in, again.)


Sigh. Well. What? Ugh. Really? No. NO.

There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to start. First of all, why did she have to yell at me? I was standing right beside her and could clearly hear the first part of the joke. Yelling doesn’t make a terrible punch line funny.

Secondly, what she just said made absolutely no sense. Where the fart did the turkey come from? She was talking about a worksheet, and all of a sudden she made a jump to preparing a fowl for Thanksgiving dinner? It’s not even early October/middle of November!

Can you just imagine if that turkey showed up unannounced in other jokes? The interrupting cow would be mad (haha) because a gobbler would beat him to his punch line. The “orange you glad” banana joke is more of a dessert joke than main course. And the chicken would feel inferior about the size his wattle compared to that of the turkey. That friggin’ turkey just RUINS EVERYTHING.

Obviously this child is exceptionally unfunny, and those Lunchables went straight to her head. Sure, I’ll give it to her that she had two thirds of the joke format correct, but she really went off the rails when the turkey came busting in, cluckin' around like he owns the barnyard. Sometimes an illogical leap is hilarious, but in this case? As the kids say these days: EPIC FAIL.

Kids: Not at all funny.


  1. http://www.geekfill.com/2012/06/28/louis-c-k-s-daughter-tells-a-joke/