|Just to be clear, this is a cake topper.|
First, Amy Bouzaglo of Amy's Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona (because of course it's Scottsdale) stole the season finale of Kitchen Nightmares by making Gordon Ramsay seem more mild-mannered than a Canadian accountant, then proceeded to drape the internet with a fondant crafted from pure refined wrath. I'm not going to explain anymore. Just go here and read everything, then watch the embedded videos. I promise: you will be deeply entertained.
But more to the interests of this blog are the actions taken by Pam Regentin of Fleur Cakes in Hood River, Oregon...
Some context: back in February, Sweet Cakes bakery in Gresham, Oregon (the most widely mocked of the Portland suburbs), refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple. It was national news. Now the bakery is under investigation for violating the Oregon Equality Act of 2007, which "prohibits discrimination against people based on their sexual orientation and gender identity."
Then, the other day, Pam Regentin found out the couple who was coming in to taste cake samples was lesbian. She then refused to bake their cake, which was mighty presumptuous considering they hadn't even had samples yet. When informed she was violating Oregon law, Regentin replied "I believe I have the liberty to live by my principles." And a bunch of people who don't like dark skin are all like, "Why didn't I think of that excuse?"
Look, bakers, I get it. You believe homosexuality is wrong, and you have Bible verses to back that up. That's fine. I'm not asking you to reject those beliefs.
But this is stupid. You aren't joining gay people in marital union. You are making a cake that will look pretty on a table and then be devoured by a host of gluttonous liars, coveters, and adulterers. Their bodies will comb the digested cake for sparse nutritional value, and the cake will be shit out and flushed into Hood River's sewer system.
If your aim is to change marriage laws to closer reflect your view of Christianity, you are hurting your cause. If you are so bereaved at providing dessert for a same-sex couple, why not take the money they pay and donate it to some anti-gay marriage group? Because, again, you are not being asked to condone homosexuality. You are being asked to mix flour and egg and sugar together, then heat it to the point it becomes DELICIOUS.
(Note: There are exceptions. If, say, a gay person asks you to place a plastic figurine of Jesus at the top of their cake, and then they tell you to rig it with natural gas so everyone can watch your Lord and Savior burn during the best man's [?] speech, and they ask you to recite a full renunciation of your faith during the wedding ceremony, you are perfectly welcome to politely reject their patronage.)
I mean, do you really, REALLY think this is how Jesus would respond? You think he made customers at his carpentry shop repent before he would build them an end table? Let me put it this way: do you refuse cakes to divorced couples? Do you ask them how their previous marriages ended, and only agree to make the cake if the cause for divorce was adultery? No, of course you don't, because that would be incredibly rude, because YOU ARE NOT MARRYING THAT COUPLE. YOU ARE BAKING A CAKE.
Thanks for your time.