17.6.13

Bits of Life


The runaway sat watching the train go by. Is this what his life had become? A series of days spent sleeping, nights spent in a free-for-all drunken stupor? Why didn't he work during the day like everyone else? Then, in 40 years he could retire and sleep all day but be too old for an all night free-for-all. Feeling better, he went back to sleep. Soon, however, nightfall came, and he was awoken by a sniffing dog. Go away dog, he thought. But then feeling better again, he killed and ate the dog by the firelight. Dog by firelight; a hobo delicacy.

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Sometimes I wonder if my TV is actually watching me. What a loser he must be to do so. Where's his family? Doesn't he have a job? I think I'll continue my case study at least until Dance Moms is over.


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It was late, and the lights were still on inside Dance Studio C. The exhausted tap dancer stood leaning into the mirror. How many taps had he done already? And how many more taps were there to go? Will he one day tap before kings and queens? And where do tap dancers go when they die… tap heaven? The answer to all is, "who cares."

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The old magician studied his wand. So you are what has kept me from having sex with women, he thought.

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As the fly poops when it lands,


So I email you poetry.

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I bet the first sign of the end for Nazis was when people could no longer get out of parking tickets by shooting the bull about “how bad the Jews are.”

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Sometimes I look at people who are avoiding mammograms and I think Oh just get over it. But then I think, What if I needed to schedule a mammogram? Then I could be slowed down from my efforts at shaming them. So the conclusion is; long term shaming for mammograms is best performed at a safe distance, preferably with binoculars, behind a sorority house.

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Anna's wealthy father strictly forbade her from being with John, a misunderstood greaser from across the tracks. They had only exchanged glimpses and quick remarks before tonight...  but everything was about to change. John shut off the engine of his 76' Chevy as he coasted down her driveway. Anna climbed out of her bedroom window. They were free. Five miles out of town they pulled over and embraced. As passions ran hot their eyes met and they both knew what the other wanted, -a frank discussion about how they were only in this for the novelty aspect. Both of them cited an onset of diarrhea*, and they drove back to town.
*Only a part lie as Anna felt a poop coming on.  
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 More Bits of Life can be viewed at:   http://aarondonleybitsoflifearchive.blogspot.com/

2 comments:

  1. It's been over 5 years since the last Bits of Life entry. 5 YEARS.

    ReplyDelete