bits of life; The Cool Move


They say up to 10 million mites live in your pillow, feeding on dead skin cells. That's enough to devour a small child's head if they chose to. Amen.


In our little village lived a soothsayer. He would sit in the town square all day saying sooths. I was like, who sooths anymore old man? He'd swing his cane at me and yell some jibberish and we'd all all laugh. But one day fire rained down from heaven and I can assure you no one was laughing then. As we were there to kill him.


After the first time my parents caught me with alcohol they sat me down and said, "If you're going to drink we want to you do it right here, at this table, in front of us." Well I ran to my room and slammed the door, vowing then and there to hide my good stuff.


If you're opening an ottoman store, beware of the falling into the same pitfalls the Ottoman Empire fell into; namely too much futon inventory.


It’s interesting how death row inmates will initially start their daily tally marks high up on their cell walls. Simple death row inmate, it’s that kind of wide-eyed optimism that got you there in the first place.

If you overflow a public toilet, I think it's ok to leave a note saying 'God did it.' Because who's to know what that might mean to somebody.


If you have to wash dishes because you couldn't pay the restaurant bill, I think a cool move would be to gently reach down under the water and squeeze your date's hand. Then hand her a dish.


More of Aaron Donley's Bits of Life can be viewed at:   http://aarondonleybitsoflifearchive.blogspot.com/

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