7.7.13

bits of life; Evil Twin



 
CONFIDENCE
Some Amish children asked me not to take their photo because it would steal their souls. But I was confident I could blackmail a plow out of this deal. 
 


 
 
THE DREAM IS OVER

After weeks of preliminary testing I told my friend Jake I could not, in fact, implant his brain into the chicken's body, as I secretly feared he might overtake our cock fighting organization from the inside.   Note to self: Jake is not to be trusted. Tomorrow ask him to put my brain in a chicken's head.
 
I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU


If you're a kid who is going to pee down a slide, make sure you've got enough pee to make it all the way down. Man, some of us have been waiting all day.


BARREN

When you’re young, you believe cats and dogs in love produce a litter of little cats and dogs. But when you're old you forget your name and think the nurse is your dead wife.
 

IN A FARAWAY LAND WHERE THE DEATH PENALTY HAD BEEN OUTLAWED

The King slouched down in his throne and picked at his food.  "I didn't say heads will roll, I said they would roll, like if tossed out of a window or something."   Then, slamming down his fork, "And that's a scientific fact.   So somebody write it down!" (No one wrote it down.) 
 
 
THE BETTER MAN

Sometimes I see the rich man on the street and wonder if he really is better than me. What with his better clothes, job, car, house, family, outlook on life and general kind heartedness. Then I wonder if I took his clothes maybe his wife would think I was him, and get ready for some sex, fancy lady.
 
 
A NATURAL BEAUTY

Instead of the beauty of a gazelle, how about an even more beautiful lioness eating that gazelle and giving you the, "look." She wants it, bad.
 
 
EVIL TWIN; A POEM

If I had an evil twin
I hope I'd get a stroke so he'd have to take care of me.
Learned your lesson, brother?
 
 
FOOTBALL

My brother and I affectionately called our football, Pneumonia. All winter long we'd go out and try and catch Pneumonia.   My mom hated that ball.
 
 
DREAMS

Even if your dreams seem out of reach, don’t give up. But do pause for a second and make sure they are indeed out of reach. If so, give up. If the dreams are within reach, stretch and act like they're not.  Then when people walk by, shrug and go, ‘Dreams, whattya gonna do?'
 
 
*****
 
 
 More of Aaron Donley's Bits of Life can be viewed at: http://aarondonleybitsoflifearchive.blogspot.com/

 

 


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