The Pop Cycle - P!nk, Selena Gomez, and Robin Thicke

Oh, hello there! I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've just been working my balls off this week. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say: dolla billz, y'all.

I haven't done one of these Pop Cycle things in a while, so let's go that route. This week: Selena Gomez, P!?n,k%%%%, and the other white male celebrity with the last name "Thicke".

"Blurred Lines (ft. T.I., Pharrel)" - Robin Thicke

What a perfect little summer diddy. I love most everything about this track. It's fun, it's light, and it's a little dirty. T.I.'s breezy verse recalls Kanye and Q-Tip, and it works. Even the video is fun and brings some charm to what is essentially three extremely cool gentlemen womanizing the hell out of supermodels. It's surprisingly engaging.

Does Robin Thicke resemble Ricky Gervais to anyone else? I mean, infinitely more attractive, but still.

(Addendum: So, maybe it's highly dirty. I do want to note, however, this video reminds me a great deal of "You Can Call Me Al", one of the greatest music videos ever made.)


"Just Give Me a Reason (ft. Nate Reuss)" - P!nk

Sometimes things just don't go right. On paper, this song seems promising. Nate Reuss was responsible for some of the 2012's best songs. The melody is cribbed from Regina Spektor, and there are certainly worse musicians to steal from. P!nk's alright. I mean, she's always struck me as a lot less self-aware than her tough girl image infers. But she's done some decent songs.

But this song sucks. Reuss's voice grates. P!nk doesn't bring an ounce of personality to the proceedings. The piano recital opening is cloying, and, in the end, the melody is downright awful. I can't wait until this is off the radio, which may be never.


"Come and Get It" - Selena Gomez

Sometimes I wonder how Selena Gomez will end up. I mean...not a lot. Like, I've thought about it once or twice over a four year span.

Anyway, is she more of a Britney or a Xtina? Will she collapse spectacularly, mired in drugs and whatnot? Will she be a ruthless, petty judge on a singing competition? I actually had the chance to ask someone who'd had contact with her, and he said she should turn out fine, but you never know. You never know.

But back to this song. It's not very good. The song itself is okay, but Gomez's vocals are dripping with Autotune. It's like she just read it in monotone and then was like, "That's a wrap! Get to work, computers! LOL!"

It's not like it's awful, it's just clearly one of those celebrity songs. I'm sure Gomez is a talented singer. Actually, I'm not really sure of that now that I think about it.

I'll tell you one thing: if I'd seen this video between the ages of 12-16, I would've had a brain aneurysm watching this video. 33 year-old me is like, "Maybe I'll make tri-tip for dinner. With chimichurri sauce. Hell yeah."


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