Summer Fruit Power Rankings

Summer is my favorite season in part because fruit grows here like I imagine it did in Eden. You can just eat these things right off trees (or bushes or whatever). So here are the common fruits, ranked by order of deliciousness. I dare you to disagree.

1. Rainier cherries
2. Peaches
3. Watermelon*
4. Other cherries
5. Blueberries
6. Grapes
7. Nectarines
8. Raspberries
9. Lychee
10. Strawberries
11. Blackberries 
12. Cantaloupe
13. Plums
14. Apricots
15. Boysenberries
16. Honeydew Melons
17. Figs
LAST. Durian

* - It's important to note the average watermelon is better than the average peach, but a peach at it's best is far too complex to compare to what is essentially water and loosely-structured plant cells.


  1. You know why the melon planned a big wedding? Because he can't elope. Get it? Cantaloupe. Ah, never mind.

    Jordan, I think you need to give us a list of your 5 favorite punctuation marks, in order.

    1. Oh, man, I don't even know where I'd start...

  2. Durian is the king of fruit, Jordan. The KING.

    Also it is rumoured that durian is so badass that if you drink beer and eat durian at the same time your stomach will explode and you will die. I am not kidding. This is a fairly popular legend in Singapore/Malaysia.

    Also, to quote Durian.net, "You can kill a person by throwing a durian at his head. It's just like a ball of spikes."